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Yesterday something happened during a D&D 5e session that created a between me, a player, and the three other players. I'd like to have your perspective on the matter, and a way forward, because the other three are not listening to anything I say.

Context

We are five friends who decided to start a "campaign" in which we take turns DMing. The setting : we are small-time criminals in Waterdeep who have been recruited by an emerging criminal organization to do jobs here and there.

The party is a boxer "monk", a halberd sentinel feat "paladin", a ranger/fighter knife thrower, an Aasimar bard, and me, a Tiefling warlock. The characters have done a bunch of jobs together so far, and in the downtime they hang out together at the bar.

The Situation

In yesterday's session, we are in a dungeon. My character opens a chest, finds 3 platinum pieces, and says to the others "Meh only 3 copper pieces". I roll a Deception check, get a low score, and upon seeing that the guys don't believe me, I say "Alright, it's 3 platinum pieces". The paladin shouts "He's been stealing from us from the beginning!", asks that I give him the pieces. I say "No, we'll split it in four", then all of a sudden the monk dashes toward me, grabs me in a headlock (we did a STR contest that he won), and the party steal gold from my purse.

They let me go, and only then the DM asks me how I react (I couldn't try to talk things out before). Now that they've attacked me and stole from me, I'm not gonna let them get away with it (why would I?) so I cast Burning Hands on them. We roll initiative, and the bard, who acts first, casts Suggestion from which I fail to save. He makes me say "I miss my mom" and drop all my cash on the floor. Then the paladin spits at me and they go away.

After that they just expected my character to tag along with them and forget that they attacked and robbed me of all my cash.

The Conflict

I tried to explain that it made no sense, that my character would want nothing to do with the party anymore, and that they ruined the party dynamic by overreacting over my character trying to hide 3pp from them, but then admitting he lied and wanting to split the loot.

They said it was a matter of "honour among thieves", and "loyalty to the guild". But over the previous sessions, the party hid three magic rings from the guildmaster that he told them to bring back to him. They also stole 100gp from a chest full of cash that was supposed to go to the guild. Not so much "guild loyalty."
As for the thieves' honour, the knife thrower hid a lot of loot from a dead mage (nobody asked what he got), and when he flashed a property deed he found on the mage, the party didn't ask where he got that. Also, the monk had opened a chest in front of everyone just before I did, looted all the cash in his pockets, and nobody said a word.
Now, all of a sudden, it's a huge deal that I do the same, and they attack me and rob me blind.

The Aasimar bard, in the tavern, while we're drinking and having fun, for no reason at all, uses the racial feature (can't remember the name) that makes him intimidate/frighten a creature -- on the paladin. The paladin just lets it go. But my character try to hide 3pp and they all lose their minds.

What is the issue in all that?

My character has been attacked, insulted and robbed blind. Why would he stick around with the party? They say the players turning on him was great roleplay, and that it's a golden opportunity for me to develop my character. But how can I have him tag along with the guys that ganged on him over a small lie that he admitted doing?

I'm saying that my character, in all logical sense, either leave the party, or try to kill them.
They say my character should just learn from his lesson and let it go.
But I don't see how he could let that go.

From my perspective, they went way over the top in dealing with the situation, and the party turned against a member, making him their enemy, which ruins the party dynamic.

The way ahead

So here I am, pissed at my friends that they left me with no choice but to play a character in a specific way that makes no sense to me, and they just tell me to "deal with it".
The character got jumped by his partners and he should just tell himself "Well, I got what I deserved."

How can I resolve this conflict so my character can rejoin the party peacefully?
How can I prevent this kind of party antagonism from happening again?

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Temujin
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    What outcome would you like from this situation? We can't really answer an open-ended question like "any advice?" because the SE system on the site doesn't really work for it. But if you had a specific question or resolution you wanted (eg "How can I resolve this conflict so my character can rejoin the party peacefully?" or "How can I prevent this kind of party antagonism from happening again?") we might be able to help. – Rubiksmoose Apr 07 '19 at 17:13
  • So, if you have a specific question about the situation (like either of my two examples above) please [edit] it into your question and we hopefully will be able to help :) – Rubiksmoose Apr 07 '19 at 17:14
  • Welcome to Stack Exchange! As it stands, questions that simply ask “any advice for how to handle X” tend to be a poor fit for the site. What is your ultimate goal or intended outcome here? – Stop Being Evil Apr 07 '19 at 17:14
  • Welcome to RPG.SE! Take the tour if you haven't already and see the help center if you need more guidance. Good Luck and Happy Gaming! – Someone_Evil Apr 07 '19 at 17:22
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    Also, this is indeed a fairly long post. If you can boil it down into a single sentence, that would make for a good title. Maybe “My party of thieves steal from each other constantly, but when I do it they attack my character and berate me”? – Stop Being Evil Apr 07 '19 at 17:25
  • Idea generation questions often do better in a forum than in the SE format. If this gets closed, we have a curated list of forums at the link. – KorvinStarmast Apr 07 '19 at 17:34
  • I reorganized this question to make it easier to digest. Please review, and make sure that the paired questions at the end are the questions you want an answer to. If not, edit this again to make it clearer. Also, here is a related question. What level are the characters? What ages are the players? – KorvinStarmast Apr 07 '19 at 18:01
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because I think, in its current form, it's a sloppily disguised rant. If OP were to rephrase his question in an objective way, so that the question focuses on getting a solution to his problem, I'd vote to reopen. But currently, it just feels like OP is looking for someone to say that he's right and his friends are wrong (whether or not that is the case, I don't know). – PixelMaster Apr 07 '19 at 18:48
  • @PixelMaster Probably the right call; I did see some rantiness there. I was hoping to get a bit more granular info, but this can stay on hold until we coax the details out of the one asking the question. – KorvinStarmast Apr 07 '19 at 20:08
  • @PixelMaster I have looked at the Help Center to understand how my post was off-topic. I tried to depict the situation as objectively as I could, and I mentionned when it was my personal point of view and when it was my friends'. Of course, since the issue is a matter of perspective and failed dialogue that created a tension between people, and that I am the player who is now limited in his roleplay because of the players actions, I feel upset. But I asked for advice in how to solve the situation. I edited the post as I was suggested to. Don't know how to be more clear or objective. – Temujin Apr 07 '19 at 20:21
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    @Temujin I personally think the question, while a little ranty, is answerable as-is as long as you are open to solving the situation. I have voted to reopen it. Answering the questions that people have asked you in the comments will help us a lot though so please consider doing so. – Rubiksmoose Apr 07 '19 at 22:07
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    @Temujin You mention the other three aren't listening to you. Did you raise your concerns in an out-of-game discussion? How did that go, and what was left unresolved? – MikeQ Apr 07 '19 at 22:28
  • @MikeQ I tried to talk things out and explain my point of view, but all they say was "That's how things happened, now deal with it". I pointed out the inconsistencies with the players not reacting to shady business from other PCs prior to the situation, and they tell me I'm taking it personal, after all it's just a game. – Temujin Apr 08 '19 at 23:16
  • @Temujin Ouch. This reads like the other players are not at all interested in helping you solve this problem, which leaves very little that you can do other than re-evaluate whether this is a group you want to be part of. – Stop Being Evil Apr 09 '19 at 00:19

1 Answers1

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You've discovered one of the central limitations of D&D, which is that it requires that all the characters trust one another. If there is no trust between characters, then realistically they shouldn't be hanging out together in one group -- but D&D requires that the characters be in one group, because there's only one DM and you don't want to split their attention.

The best way to avoid this problem is: in the future, don't steal from the group like that.

Experience

I've been in a group where the rogue stole from the rest of us, and it was a pretty miserable experience. I felt like I was being taken advantage of, but I wasn't "allowed" to say anything about it because they made their deception roll. Please don't make your fellow players feel this way.

Traditionally, the way to handle this sort of situation is to let your character leave the group. Tell your DM that your character is leaving and is now an NPC. Treat this as though your character had died, and bring in a new character who will get along better with the rest of the group. I've done this multiple times; it's not a perfect solution, but it does allow the game to go forward with all the players participating.

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Dan B
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