Closest idiom to the Arabic: "You made my neck as small as a sesame seed"

Question

In Arabic, the idiom "You made my neck as small as a sesame seed" is used to mean that someone related to you or a friend, put you in an embarassing situation with others. This idiom is usually used by parents when their children make them anything but proud. People who have long necks are assumed to be proud; hence, 'a neck as small as a sesame seed' in this idiom. Is there an idiom anywhere close to this meaning in English?

'Put someone to shame' carries the transitive 'disgrace' meaning, and is actually an (extra-grammatical: one doesn't put someone to fear / fame / happiness ...) idiom. However, it's transparent, and has a different default meaning ('do far better than someone'). — Edwin Ashworth, May 04 '23 at 10:43
Can you include the original Arabic? I tried to find it but جعلت رقبتي كالسمسم doesn't get many Google hits. — hippietrail, May 05 '23 at 05:04
جعلتَ رقبتي كالسمسم perhaps? Even that doesn't find much on Google. — hippietrail, May 05 '23 at 08:45
@hippietrail - You are googling old Arabic (no one speaks today, just like Latin). The problem with Arabic is that it's probably the most extreme in terms of diglossia, the high Arabic (written) is very different from colliqual Arabic (spoken) — Adam, May 05 '23 at 18:13
@Adam Well that's true but there's still plenty of Arabic on the Internet and I have zero clue if it's 100% written in MSA or colloquial or whatever. I'm just trying to find out the original form(s) and other forums where people might be discussing it. — hippietrail, May 07 '23 at 09:22
@hippietrail - The closest form you could find would be "خليت رقبتي قد السمسمة". — Adam, May 11 '23 at 12:04

score 13 · Accepted Answer · edited Sep 30 '23 at 00:58

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I couldn't think of one off the top of my head but I asked a nearby AI chatbot and I thought it did a good job:

You made me feel two inches tall.

For example, from the series Cheers:

Rebecca: I lost my dream job, and when I walked out of that House of Pancakes, I felt two inches tall.

It also offered "You really cut me down to size" which I feel isn't as good because it's mostly not the speaker who would use it about themselves, although both can be rearranged grammatically to various degrees.

edited Sep 30 '23 at 00:58

Laurel

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answered May 04 '23 at 16:04

hippietrail

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I feel like this is more of a case of "You sure got one up on me", rather than the shame being shared by both of us. Not sure if that's what we were looking for or not... – Darrel Hoffman May 04 '23 at 17:37
The chatbot suggestion is good as a new way of saying it, rather like "You made me feel so small" but it is not a common idiom. – Anton May 04 '23 at 17:44
To me thinking about it more the two inches one is about shame/embarrassment while the cut me down to size one is more you showed me up/destroyed my argument/put me in my place. Still thinking though, they seem to be fuzzier than I first thought... – hippietrail May 04 '23 at 19:04
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I don't think this has the "relative or friend" part. For example: "at that disciplinary hearing my boss made me feel 2 inches tall". – Owen Reynolds May 04 '23 at 23:24
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"cut me down to size" is more about humbling someone who was not being humble, not necessarily embarrassing them. – BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft May 05 '23 at 03:26
@OwenReynolds very true. I very much doubt that English has anything that includes that part so the closest will probably be as close as we can find without the relative/friend part. I wonder if that really is that key in the Arabic though or more just the OP's wording? – hippietrail May 05 '23 at 05:02
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The AI did not generate the answer. The answer is a post which I wrote myself. The meta is all about plagiarism the writing the text of the answer and not about solving the problem. I took the solution which I found using a tool and wrote my own answer text with that solution in it. You can't plagiarize a fact or an idiom and I didn't plagiarize whatever the chatbot wrote. Please See and read that meta. I don't need the credit for it though, so it's now a community post. – hippietrail May 05 '23 at 09:26
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Actually the meta post is quite a mishmash of issues and doesn't make clear what the major objection(s) is/are. The writing of the prose in the answer or the finding of the solution or accepting the credit. It's a can of worms this site, SO, and everybody needs to go through and figure out. – hippietrail May 05 '23 at 10:09
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@Anton: Soundsa common enough to me. Google Books has dozens of written instances of made me feel two inches tall, and this NGram chart suggests there'll be a fair few for *...three inches tall. Not to mention ... made me feel this tall* (holding thumb and index fingers half an inch apart). – FumbleFingers May 05 '23 at 18:19
I really think you should have done more to back up the answer, especially in light of the comments and the fact that I've seen ChatGPT create new idioms wholesale or redefine existing ones. (I've tried to back it up myself.) I think that this falls on the OK side of the policy since it was not written by AI itself – Laurel Sep 30 '23 at 00:58

score 12 · Answer 2 · answered May 04 '23 at 09:59

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Is there an idiom anywhere close to this meaning in English?

No. In the context described, i.e. "You made me ashamed when you did/said, etc ... [insert something that brings shame]", this association between embarrassment and part of the body does not exist in English.

Also, the concept of bringing shame on the family is also very weak in the West when compared to Arabian culture.

The normal phrasing is usually literal:

"I was/am ashamed to be your father/mother" / "When you said/did X, you made me ashamed of being your father/mother."

answered May 04 '23 at 09:59

Greybeard

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Connections between embarrassment and body parts certainly exist in English, and I wouldn't be surprised if they exist in every language. Generally, in English, they're profane ("You made me feel like a right c***" is very English English). But that doesn't change the basic fact that you're right -- instead of using idiom in this case, we would be literal. – Auspex May 04 '23 at 13:49
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There is hang my head (in shame). – jxh May 04 '23 at 18:21
@jxh - I think that might be the best we can do in English. It doesn't have the colorful metaphor, but it conveys the image of not holding one's head up high. I think it's worth being written as a separate answer. – JonathanZ May 05 '23 at 18:22
@JonathanZsupportsMonicaC Done, even though a check has been selected. – jxh May 08 '23 at 00:14

score 9 · Answer 3 · answered May 04 '23 at 13:39

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Another botanical example:

You made my face as red as a beet.

An embarrassed person's face might flush reddish, usually in their own embarrassment, but one can also feel second-hand embarrassment for someone else by proxy.

answered May 04 '23 at 13:39

Darrel Hoffman

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Maybe more like "I had to blush for you" to make the attributive element clear. – Hugh Meyers May 04 '23 at 20:51

alwayslearning · Answer 4 · 2023-05-04T16:24:13.380

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One can also say: You made me lose face.

TFD(idioms):

Lose face
To suffer embarrassment; to be publicly humiliated.

edited May 04 '23 at 16:24

answered May 04 '23 at 14:52

alwayslearning

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you made me lose face - yes. you made me lose MY face - not where I speak english! – Neil_UK May 04 '23 at 15:17
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Losing face is an embarrassment. Losing your face is a serious medical emergency. – Nuclear Hoagie May 04 '23 at 16:23
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Thank you for pointing out the mistake. Edited. And upvoted your comments. – alwayslearning May 04 '23 at 16:25
While off your face might suggest very drunk or under the influence of certain drugs – Henry May 04 '23 at 17:32
This is a good answer because it addresses the kinship/honour aspect of the OP’s idiom. – Lawrence May 05 '23 at 00:03

score 5 · Answer 5 · answered May 04 '23 at 23:12

These aren't quite drop-in replacements, but:

I thought I would sink through the floor

("to wilt, wince, or cower from extreme embarrassment", to quote The Free Dictionary), or

I wished the ground would swallow me up.

Neither of these has the same active sense that someone specifically did something to embarrass you, but that's a detail that context could easily convey. The latter in particular is more for a situation where you yourself have done something to embarrass yourself (although from context I'm sure you could say this in such a way that a child knew you you were embarrassed because their behaviour reflected badly on you).

score 3 · Answer 6 · edited May 04 '23 at 17:41

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“Your bad behaviour has shown me up”

Cambridge
show someone up
phrasal verb with show, verb
Participles showed | shown
to behave in a way that makes someone you are with feel ashamed or embarrassed:

edited May 04 '23 at 17:41

Adam

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answered May 04 '23 at 07:18

Anton

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I've mainly heard this used to mean embarrassing someone about themselves, typically by outperforming them. – MJD May 04 '23 at 12:01

score 3 · Answer 7 · edited May 04 '23 at 18:27

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You really hung me out to dry could apply. From Cambridge Dictionary:

to allow someone to be punished, criticized, or made to suffer in a way that is unfair, without trying to help them:
They felt they had been hung out to dry by their employers.
He said, "We will not let the media hang this man out to dry."

edited May 04 '23 at 18:27

Heartspring

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answered May 04 '23 at 17:50

Kevin30443

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Joachim · Answer 8 · 2023-05-05T17:23:40.433

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Perhaps "you (really) put your foot in it" comes closest:

to say something that causes someone to be embarrassed, upset, or hurt especially when the speaker did not expect that reaction

I really put my foot in it when I asked her about her job. I didn't know she had just been fired.

A common alternative phrasing is "to put one's foot in one's mouth", i.c. "you put your foot in your mouth".

Not all definitions involve the embarrassment of others, however.

edited May 05 '23 at 17:23

answered May 04 '23 at 06:07

Joachim

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I think "put your foot in your mouth" implies embarrassing yourself. Certainly the origin is the idea of doing something stupid to yourself. Although maybe it can be extended in meaning? – Stuart F May 04 '23 at 11:36
I'm with @StuartF I don't think I've ever heard this used to mean that someone embarassed someone else. The example sentence doesn't mean this -- it hurt the feelings of the other person, which embarassed the speaker. – Barmar May 04 '23 at 14:08
@StuartF It's funny how that works: other idioms in more upvoted answers inherently have nothing to with embarrassing others, but by using the second person they seem closer in meaning, and I think with this idiom it is implied - at least according to some definitions. – Joachim May 04 '23 at 15:23
@Barmar yeah, I'll adjust my example sentence, like others have :) – Joachim May 04 '23 at 15:24

score 1 · Answer 9 · answered May 08 '23 at 00:13

You may consider hang (one's) head

Literally, to lower one's head in shame or embarrassment.
Don't hang your head over this loss—you ran an excellent race.
_{Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. Retrieved May 7 2023}

You did not provide a sample sentence, but perhaps something like:

I know you had your reasons for deserting, but I must still hang my head. If I don't show shame, our family will be subjected to more than just harsh words.

score 0 · Answer 10 · answered May 04 '23 at 11:15

To remain in the field of botany, one may say you put me in quite the pickle.

"In a pickle" means in a difficult situation or in a quandary.

More information there :

Pickles is a conjugation of the verb to pickle, which is a process of preserving vegetables, and some sources cite evidence that, in the past, there were stories of bodies being preserved in this same way.

By this description, in a pickle could mean in trouble because one was dead. This could be used figuratively to describe anyone in a tough situation.

But this idiom doesn't precisely refer to the idea of bringing shame, dishonor or discredit.

score 0 · Answer 11 · answered May 05 '23 at 15:09

One might also consider:

You brought a lump to my throat.

If you have a lump in your throat, you feel as though you might cry. Meg felt a lump in her throat. She was going to miss Dot. Note: You can also say that something brings a lump to your throat. It brings a lump to my throat. We are so proud of her.

a lump in my throat. (n.d.) Collins COBUILD Idioms Dictionary, 3rd ed.. (2012). Retrieved May 5 2023 from https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/a+lump+in+my+throat

A feeling of constriction in the throat caused by emotion, as in The bride's mother had a lump in her throat. This expression likens the sense of a physical swelling to the tight sensation caused by strong feelings. [Mid-1800s]

a lump in my throat. (n.d.) The American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. (2003, 1997). Retrieved May 5 2023 from https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/a+lump+in+my+throat

score 0 · Answer 12 · edited May 06 '23 at 17:06

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Along the same lines as "losing face," one might say that they will never be able to show their face.

E.g.

How can I show my face again at school committee after what my little Bobby just said to the principal?

Indeed, the English word "effacement" translates from "to remove the face" and means to reduce to insignificance.

edited May 06 '23 at 17:06

KillingTime

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answered May 06 '23 at 17:05

SteveC

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score 0 · Answer 13 · answered May 08 '23 at 03:08

There are many phrases which originated with "letting someone else take the blame" but have since broadened to include any situation where you've been caused public embarrassment or lost face because of the actions of another. Some examples:

you threw me under the bus there

You really stitched me up / that was a real stitch-up

and

you hung me out to dry

all these expressions have their origin in scapegoating someone or having them take the blame, but now can be used in say a general social situation. For example, I just looked for "threw me under the bus" on google books and this came up as the first result which involves a character 'throwing another under the bus' by telling a third party that they're lazy.

edit: Sorry just saw that "Hung me out to dry" was included in Kevin30443's answer above

Closest idiom to the Arabic: "You made my neck as small as a sesame seed"

13 Answers13