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Is there any idiom that means "do as you wish, but I warned you, so don't complain about consequences"?

Community
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user626528
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13 Answers13

94

The phrase "Don't say I didn't warn you" means exactly that, with all its implications.

Justin
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DJClayworth
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Fairly informal, and rather cutting is

That's/It's your funeral!

something that you say that means that if someone suffers bad results from their actions, it will be that person's fault, not yours

[Cambridge Dictionary]

............................

On your own head be it!

Is less informal and can be less awkward.

What is the meaning of the phrase 'on your [own] head be it'?

It means that you must take the responsibility. It is usually used when someone is about to say or do something which another thinks is unwise. He will advise against, but typically say 'but on your own head be it'.

[David FG_Phrases.org]

Edwin Ashworth
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    Do people really say "That's your funeral!"? Not a native speaker but that wording sounds pretty damn harsh to me. – MaxD Jan 09 '22 at 13:08
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    That's your funeral is more like "you shouldn't do it, and don't be a damn fool, but if you do anyway its your choice, good luck surviving!" "On your own head be it" is the one of these you'd want to use. – Stilez Jan 09 '22 at 13:42
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    Yes, but one has to be very careful with the time and occasion, Max. And Covid makes this even trickier. – Edwin Ashworth Jan 09 '22 at 17:53
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    @MaxD Yes. Often the answers here are in the dictionary or books, but no one would ever actually say it. But regular Americans really do say "it's your funeral". But not when you could actually die. It's like saying "my wife would kill me" or "he murdered that hamburger". – Owen Reynolds Jan 09 '22 at 18:24
  • After the fact, a person might say, "You've made your bed, and now you must to lie in it." but that expression is (relatively) rarely framed prospectively, as a way to discourage someone from adopting an unwise course of action. – Sven Yargs Jan 10 '22 at 01:18
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    Or the completely threat-free (as in no funerals or lost heads) version '(OK, but) you're on your own' – mcalex Jan 10 '22 at 04:59
  • Upvoted, though I think the On your own head be it! would have better at the start of the answer as I think it's more common (and less harsh)! – k1eran Jan 10 '22 at 17:16
  • ''On your head be it'' is good and doesn't sound too harsh. – Hollis Williams Jan 10 '22 at 18:36
  • There is the nicely alliterative 'suit yourself' or 'suit your silly self' – Richard Jan 10 '22 at 23:51
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    As a foreigner, I've stumbled on "your funeral" quite a few times, but never heard "on your own head be it". Just commenting on rarity, not accuracy. – George Menoutis Jan 11 '22 at 09:43
  • Similar and also informal "You'll have plenty of rope to hang yourself" free dictionary – Martin Jan 11 '22 at 18:33
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    I'm a native speaker from the United States, and have never heard "on your head be it" before. Is this a regional thing? – sbell Jan 11 '22 at 21:08
  • "If that's the hill you are willing to die on..." – Fauxcuss Jan 11 '22 at 22:10
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    I would add the note that "on your own head be it" is a rather archaic usage and you're unlikely to see many people using it, and while a native English speaker will probably recognise and understand its meaning, it's likely to be quite jarring because of that. – Jim Cullen Jan 11 '22 at 22:47
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    Lol at "On your own head be it!" somehow being less awkward than the very common phrase "your funeral" – Kevin Jan 11 '22 at 23:24
  • Google Ngram Viewer supports the relative commonality of "it's your funeral" over "on your head be it". Notably, the two are very close in British English (though "it's your funeral" edges out), but rather far apart in American English. – Schism Jan 12 '22 at 00:53
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Another interesting addition, though with some nuance, is "I wash my hands of it".

If you wash your hands of something that you were previously responsible for, you intentionally stop being involved in it or connected with it in any way Cambridge

So this can be used if you were working on something with someone, and want to make it clear that you no longer want anything to do with it.

For example:

"Do as you wish, but I wash my hands of it".

This is a fairly specific use-case. In general I would go with "On your head be it".

Freddie R
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If you predict a bad outcome of the other party's desired actions:

It's up to you, but don't come crying to me later.

user21820
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    This isn't an idiom, though: it pretty literally means what it says (for variously-generous definitions of "crying"). – Marthaª Jan 10 '22 at 17:28
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    @Marthaª: Well, idioms are not cut and dried, and as you said you may have to interpret "crying" figuratively for this phrase to be literal, so I'd still consider it an idiom in general. – user21820 Jan 10 '22 at 17:36
  • I have to go with Martha on this, only since SE:EnglishLanguage tends to be stretched so much. So many people completely ignore single-word or idiom and offer general writing advice that we have to yell at even mostly well-intentioned not-all-that-off-the-mark answerers such as yourself. – Owen Reynolds Jan 10 '22 at 18:05
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    Or Louise Rennison's version - "If you fall down from there and break both your legs, don't come running to me!" – J... Jan 10 '22 at 18:22
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A shorter expression than other answers, but with pretty much the exact meaning desired is suit yourself

user443916
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In addition to the other great answers:

Don't come running to me when it goes wrong!

Or:

You'll be sorry!

Paddy Landau
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It's your lookout. OED: "One's own responsibility or concern, which others are not obliged to consider."

Paul
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    Your answer could be improved with additional supporting information. Please [edit] to add further details, such as citations or documentation, so that others can confirm that your answer is correct. You can find more information on how to write good answers in the help center. – Community Jan 10 '22 at 14:38
3

"You do you" carries a meaning similar to that.

This short statement can be subtle or overt, depending on the tone it is spoken in. It implies a negative judgement of the other person's proposed course of action, but not to the degree that the speaker is prepared to expend effort stopping them from undertaking it.

Sia Cant
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Tamás Sengel
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  • Your answer could be improved with additional supporting information. Please [edit] to add further details, such as citations or documentation, so that others can confirm that your answer is correct. You can find more information on how to write good answers in the help center. – Community Jan 10 '22 at 11:07
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    I've never heard that phrase - could you point us to a reference that supports your claim? Even better if it lists the regions where it's understood. – Toby Speight Jan 11 '22 at 15:26
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    This is a bit of a neologism; it's more common among younger speakers (esp. the somewhat condescending "you do you, boo"). – Schism Jan 12 '22 at 00:56
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You're on / skating on thin ice.

on thin ice In a precarious or risky position, as in After failing the midterm, he was on thin ice with his math teacher. This metaphor is often rounded out as skate on thin ice, as in He knew he was skating on thin ice when he took his rent money with him to the racetrack. This idiom, which alludes to the danger that treading on thin ice will cause it to break, was first used figuratively by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay Prudence (1841): "In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed." Christine Ammer; The American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms (2013)

If you say that someone is on thin ice or is skating on thin ice, you mean that they are doing something risky that may have serious or unpleasant consequences. Collins

be skating on thin ice

Engaged in some activity or behavior that is very risky, dangerous, or likely to cause a lot of trouble. In a precarious or risky situation. Farlex Dictionary of Idioms

DjinTonic
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    I'll point out that this one's got threatening overtones, along the lines of "if you mess up, I'll punish you". – nick012000 Jan 09 '22 at 09:06
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    I take this to mean more “I warned you against this and you proceeded anyway, here’s your final warning to stop before I get angry”, which is not quite what the OP asked for IMO – Josh Jan 09 '22 at 16:47
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    Agree with the previous commenters; this only works well when the risk is obvious. E.g. "Should I ask the professor about another extension? Dunno, you're already skating on thin ice" does not imply that the answerer would become angry; the risk is with the professor. – MSalters Jan 10 '22 at 12:34
  • @MSalters How does "become angrier" figure into the question? All I see is "don't complain about the consequences." – DjinTonic Jan 10 '22 at 12:37
  • @DjinTonic: The "become angrier" is not in the question, but it's in your answer. That's why we comment. Your answer can carry an implied threat/risk, that the person saying it would become angry. This meaning is contextual however. If there is another obvious risk, the other meaning will take precedence. – MSalters Jan 10 '22 at 12:44
  • @MSalters It's not in the definitions. It could cover situations where the speaker will get angry. If I say to you "I wouldn't chance calling in sick again--I think you're on thin ice already because of what happened last week at work," I'm giving advice. – DjinTonic Jan 10 '22 at 12:45
  • @DjinTonic: See This Mitchell&Webb sketch (slightly NSFW). Ambiguity and threats are closely related, that's how that whole sketch works. That is why you cannot have ambiguity if you intend to use it in a non-threatening way, – MSalters Jan 10 '22 at 12:54
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    Agreed with others - this is a veiled threat, not a well-meaning expression of concern. – J... Jan 10 '22 at 18:25
  • @nick012000 It can be a threat, but, as the AHD entry shows, it doesn't have to be. He knew he was skating on thin ice when he took his rent money with him to the racetrack is in no way a threat. – DjinTonic Jan 11 '22 at 22:08
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I also might use a future rendition of the idiom:

[You/go ahead and] make your bed, you'll lie in it.

which is a saying that has been around a while.

JeopardyTempest
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  • I suggest that sentiment has been around for more time than we could count but still, the specific wording is far too un-idiomatic to matter – Robbie Goodwin Jan 11 '22 at 22:27
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You can go, but know you go at your own peril.

Neil Meyer
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This word has a lot of uses/definitions, but it can be used after giving up an argument and letting someone do what they want: whatever.

Whatever is a slang term meaning "whatever you say" , "I don't care what you say" or "what will be will be". The term is used either to dismiss a previous statement and express indifference or in affirmation of a previous statement as "whatever will be will be".[1] An interjection of "whatever" can be considered offensive and impolite or it can be considered affirming. In the late 20th century and early 21st century, the word became a sentence in its own right; in effect an interjection, often but not always, used as a passive-aggressive conversational blocking tool, leaving the responder without a convincing retort.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whatever_(slang)

Used after trying to explain something to someone, it effective means "whatever you want to do, it's not my fault."

It's not automatically understood to be that definition in all situations, so it needs context as to what it ultimately means.

computercarguy
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It could depend on context, but "Forewarned is forearmed!" kind of fills the warning -> consequence sense.

Cardo
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    Your answer could be improved with additional supporting information. Please [edit] to add further details, such as citations or documentation, so that others can confirm that your answer is correct. You can find more information on how to write good answers in the help center. – Community Jan 09 '22 at 07:43