This is not an eggplant

Question

It sure is self centered!
I think it's fast!
Hot, I say, definitely hot!
It's ALIVE!
You may say that it's kind of angry (but I wouldn't say it to its face).
It's definitely big.
Looks like someone rung its bell!
You might be sitting on it...
Sounds like it might be wet.
It's not as big a deal as it used to be.
Maybe it's not even there at all?

What does this describe?

Hint:

If I placed these statements into a one-dimensional Array, one might refer to the first statement as arrayName[0].

I hope this is related to angry birds :P – ABcDexter Jun 14 '16 at 06:49 — ABcDexter, Jun 14 '16 at 06:49

Gordon K · Accepted Answer · 2016-06-14T15:44:18.920

12

This is describing

The Solar System
Each line refers to a different body in the Solar System.

It sure is self centered!

Well, the Sun is the centre of the solar system.

I think it's fast!

Mercury sure moves quickly, with an orbital period of 88 days - the fastest in the Solar System.

Hot, I say, definitely hot!

Venus is HOT. With a mean surface temp of 462C, it's the hottest in the solar system.

It's ALIVE!

The Earth is alive. As yet, no life has been confirmed elsewhere in the solar system.

You may say that it's kind of angry (but I wouldn't say it to its face).

Mars looks red and it's named after the god of war.

It's definitely big.

Jupiter - the largest of the planets

Looks like someone rung its bell!

Saturn has rings

You might be sitting on it...

Uranus - how cheeky!

Sounds like it might be wet.

Neptune is named after the god of the sea.

It's not as big a deal as it used to be.

Poor Pluto - no longer considered a planet

Maybe it's not even there at all?

Planet X which is yet to be seen but exists in theory

edited Jun 14 '16 at 15:44

answered Jun 14 '16 at 15:34

Gordon K

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This has to be it. Perfect match on all counts. – cyberbit Jun 14 '16 at 15:48
2

And it's definitely not an eggplant. – cyberbit Jun 14 '16 at 16:08
What you refer to in your last explanation was hypothesised to exist, but this was later disproved. – paolo Jun 14 '16 at 16:32
I would say that is was not "disproved," check out this Caltech video from just this year. – Chowzen Jun 14 '16 at 17:35
@Gordon K Curious, did my array hint do it for you or would you have gotten it without that hint? – Chowzen Jun 14 '16 at 17:42
@Chowzen I would have got it without the array hint, as it only made sense after I got it. – Gordon K Jun 14 '16 at 17:46

score 4 · Answer 2 · answered Jun 14 '16 at 11:14

A very long longshot (seems like a really good puzzle by the way):

Earth/The-Earth

It sure is self centred!

It's like "Hey, look at me, I got an atmosphere that sustains life and stuff! Want to see how long I can spin?!"

I think it's fast!

It's all relative but approx. 18.5 miles per sec

Hot, I say, definitely hot!

Like a microwaved gobstopper, It's hot in the middle.

It's ALIVE!

With activity!

You may say that it's kind of angry (but I wouldn't say it to its face).

Global warming maybe? And you wouldn't stand looking at the face of the earth calling it angry or you'd look a right plonker

It's definitely big.

I've heard it's even bigger in the US

Looks like someone rung its bell!

It has craters in it and stuff?

You might be sitting on it...

But I'm not. I have a chair.

Sounds like it might be wet.

2/3 of it soaked

It's not as big a deal as it used to be.

"Ug. Earth go round sun? Burn scientist!"

Maybe it's not even there at all?

Ok... What? Philosophy maybe?

Not the answer, but +1 for an entertaining response. – Chowzen Jun 14 '16 at 11:38 — Chowzen, Jun 14 '16 at 11:38

PinkGoeland · Answer 3 · 2016-06-14T12:45:23.140

3

Is it

a/my butt?

It sure is self centered!

All butts have "centers".

I think it's fast!

Not sure about this one.

Hot, I say, definitely hot!

Oh my... Thank you!

It's ALIVE!

It's a part of he human body, so it's supposed to be alive.

You may say that it's kind of angry (but I wouldn't say it to its face).

Butts can have their "temper", and you wouldn't talk to their face when they do.

It's definitely big.

Well, I retract my previous thanks.

Looks like someone rung its bell!

I won't answer to your insinuations.

You might be sitting on it...

I am.

Sounds like it might be wet.

Butts can emit wet-sounding "noises".

It's not as big a deal as it used to be.

Oh to be young again...

Maybe it's not even there at all?

How can I be sure it's there when I can't even see it?

Bonus :

Butts are NOT eggplants.

edited Jun 14 '16 at 12:45

answered Jun 14 '16 at 12:25

PinkGoeland

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"NSFW?" where do you work, a nunnery? – Chowzen Jun 14 '16 at 12:42
@Chowzen My answer was ruder at first, but I completelly rewrote it before posting it. I guess the NSFW warning is useless now. – PinkGoeland Jun 14 '16 at 12:44
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+1. Let's see if you can get away with it. I hope we are all adults here and you can get away with that. – Marius Jun 14 '16 at 12:51

This is not an eggplant

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