Recovering from selective mutism

Question

I have two twin daughters 12 year old, with selective mutism (SM) who used not to talk in school at all but have been steadily improving - talking to friends in their ear at the playground - and can talk to the teacher at close quarters when needed. Answering questions or reading out loud in class still seems some way off.

What is it like to 'recover' from selective mutism? What can be done to encourage that letting go of that last bit of fear? I met one person who says she had SM up until 9 years old (also a twin) but she 'snapped out of it'. Is this a typical experience for SM sufferers or is it more gradual?

Answer 1

I'm really glad to hear they're improving.

School can be really rough, because it's such an intense social setting. I also hated that aspect of school

I only know two people who had SM, but I can't remember that they just "snapped out of it". Your daughters might always be on the shyer side, and they might always feel some anxiety in social settings.

It sounds like you're already doing an awesome job, since they're improving. Maybe it's time to cut them (and yourself!) some slack, without having a specific "recovery" goal in mind. Hopefully, with a relaxed atmosphere, they will have confidence to test the waters on their own pace.

Disclaimer: I'm not trained in this field and the above is not professional advice. If you're concerned that their SM is holding them back from leading a normal 12 year old life, then you would want to speak to a professional.

Answer 2

My daughter also has selective mutism. She started talking to her teacher at the end of last year and this year we have also seen her improve slowly.

Her speech therapist has been extremely instrumental in helping her overcome her selective mutism. One of the things that I learned from her is that SM is primarily an anxiety based disorder.

Even when a child starts to overcome their SM, the anxiety doesn't magically disappear. The anxiety is still there, it perhaps is less severe or they are more comfortable in the environment. Nonetheless, it still can manifest in other ways.

Even though my daughter is talking at school, her anxiety does still show up in other ways, (being clingy to the teacher, needing extra reassurance, being worried she isn't doing the right thing, etc). She still is socially behind, because she lost out on a lot of social interaction while she wasn't talking at school. She's not as confident in her interpersonal relationships and is still shy with strangers.

Treatment for anxiety still needs to continue after the SM appears to be resolved.

In particular, the speech therapist has taught me to focus specifically on bravery.

• Reading books that encourage bravery: We read the book "I am brave" by Chelsea Gamache every night for months.
• Speaking positively about ourselves and our children and not be critical of them, to encourage positive self-talk and to not make a big deal about mistakes.

So to answer your question, while there may be a drastic change in some children where they seem to be able to talk quite quickly (something "clicks"), that is still not the end of their recovery, and time is needed for them to catch up socially, and work through the underlying anxiety.