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Our 14 year old son who is a great boy, funny, confident, great hockey player, lots of friends can't stop pooping his pants. He can't feel it happening. We have tried everything from therapy to phsycologists to rewarding to taking distractive things away like phone and X box, nothing works. My wife and I are at our wits end. We were convinced he was potty trained at 2 years old but something happened he starting going in his pants and has 3-4 accidents a day. He goes to public school, teachers are in the loop and have been supportive but we need help with this. I've wondered about trying hypnosis?? I'm tired of hearing "he'll grow out of it", "he's just lazy", "give him enemas every day". We've done everything we know to help this boy but nothing is working. My wife has gone to therapy to try figure out what she is missing. I find her crying sometimes because she can't figure this out. Our son can't figure out what's wrong either. He feels bad about it but can't control it. I feel absolutely sick for him going through this.

Any ideas or direction to professional help would be appreciated. Thank you

Eric
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  • You didn't mention it in your post, so I have to ask. Have you taken him to a doctor yet? What did they say? – Becuzz Sep 23 '22 at 10:24
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    This was closed as a duplicate. Encopresis is not uncommon (unfortunately). In the US, it is usually treated by a team of specialists including a gastroenterologist (to rule out Hirshsprung's or toxic megacolon) and others. Parental support is vital. Please consult the appropriate professional(s), which might not be recommended by a National Health Service without a lot of arm twisting. Don't take no for an answer. – anongoodnurse Sep 23 '22 at 14:12
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    ...anyone who answers with "he'll grow out of it" or "he's just lazy" doesn't know what they're talking about; avoid these people like the plague. – anongoodnurse Sep 23 '22 at 14:14
  • Thanks for your input Becuzz, sorry, yes we have taken him to the doctor, several times. He was referred to the Children's hospital in Calgary to do a scope but got cancelled for some reason and then our family doctor left the province. Very frustrated at this point and no new family doctor yet. – Eric Sep 24 '22 at 02:25
  • Hi and welcome. This is not a "several times doctor visit" type of problem; it's bigger than that for everybody, as you know and have experienced. Get in touch with the Children's Hospital and get it rescheduled. Read the answer below and the linked q/a. Without help, kids become adults with encopresis. If you're heartbroken, think of how your son's life will be impacted. Nationalized Health Care is difficult to navigate, but you are your child's advocate here. Push to get him the help he needs. Life is easier without encopresis. – anongoodnurse Sep 24 '22 at 16:02
  • Because of his age and sex, if you are ruling out medical causes, is it possible he is developing some kind of fetish for this? Does he spend a lot of time online? Unfortunately it is becoming more popular for men who spend a lot of time online to develop self-soiling paraphilias. Sorry to make you think about this, ew, but I didn't see anyone else mention it. – ribs2spare Oct 19 '22 at 17:38

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You don't say where you are. But the UK has at least one charity (ERIC) which is focused on bladder and bowel problems in children and teens. Their website may be very helpful for you.

Kids his age don't willingly poop in their pants, so I doubt he's lazy and thats why taking stuff away didn't help. Has he been assessed for autism? People with autism often have poor interoception (the ability to perceive sensations from inside the body, like needing a poo). He could also be constipated, which might sound odd seeing as he's regularly soiling, but if he's got a huge blockage filling up his rectum, then whats getting out is the newer stuff squeezing round the blockage. Which if he is totally bunged up he probably can't feel. Solutions involve disimpaction (a high dose of laxative like movicol/miralax to keep liquid in the bowl, for a long time, until essentially water is coming out, along with a stimulant if needed). Enemas might also help, but the blockage could be too high up. Then keeping him on a maintenance dose of laxatives, so he's doing one nice poo a day. Again this would be for a long time, to help his bowel go back to the right size and regain its muscle tone. All this would be described on the ERIC website. I would advise seeing professional support via your GP, or seeking private help with a specialist.

R Davies
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    We usually don't allow medical advice on the site, but there is nothing incorrect in what you've said. My only caveat is that the continuous high dose laxative routine should only be done under the care of a physician. There are also encopresis teams of specialists as well as support groups. Overall an excellent (if OT) answer. – anongoodnurse Sep 23 '22 at 14:08
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    Ah appologies @anongoodnurse I did know that I shouldn't just link the ERIC website. I'll be a bit less specific next time this comes up! – R Davies Sep 23 '22 at 14:37
  • No apology necessary, I think your answer is encouraging and covers a lot of important concepts. – anongoodnurse Sep 23 '22 at 14:40
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    Thank you for all your input. We have had him on a larger dose of laxatives lately and he's been somewhat better. Honestly, our GP has fled the coop and we are having trouble finding a new family doctor in the Calgary/Strathmore area. We finally revisited a past pediatrician who was – Eric Oct 11 '22 at 02:12
  • @Eric you might find the (terribly named) "movicol mummies" group on facebook a help with this too. – R Davies Oct 11 '22 at 09:02