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It seems common for people to have negative opinions or even attack women who embrace the very important role of being a mother.

As someone whose own mother is a successful professional, I fully support any woman who chooses that. So I would like to avoid discussing the rights which women already have in western nations. But it seems to have developed into an socially conceded axiom that women must prefer pursuing a career path over being a stay at home mother. There is a social stigma surrounding it and sometimes if you speak positively in appreciation of the importance of a mother's role in her child's development, people are quick to accuse you of degrading women. If you're a stay at home mom or endeavor to be one, people seem very quick to suggest that you pursue a career and almost militantly attack any suggestion that you might have a fulfilling life as a stay at home mother that will benefit your family. Sometimes this is extended beyond being a stay at home mother to treating motherhood itself as if it is morally wrong.

So this is for moms, especially stay at home moms, have you experienced such things? Are there social barriers and have they led to more tangible barriers in the way of being a stay at home mother or even just as a mother? Did this affect your decision to be a stay at home mother or not?

I realize that this can be a sensitive issue and there are some mothers struggling to cope with being a stay at home mom and then there are many cases of mothers who would absolutely love to stay at home, but feel don't have that opportunity. Maybe sometimes the grass is greener, but I would like to hear personal experiences from stay at home moms and those who have considered it. How often have you come across hostility toward motherhood and how has it affected your life and what did you do to overcome it?

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    I'm sorry but this reads like a polling question, or one asking for personal stories, both of which really aren't a good fit for the SE format. This would be better suited to a discussion forum or the chat room, possibly. – Catija Apr 10 '17 at 16:10
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    Welcome to Parenting. Unlike forums, where these kinds of questions are embraced, this is a member of the Stack Exchange Network, so is a Q&A site with specific requirements: one question with a probable right answer. I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it is not directly involving a problem in parenting, but rather adult interactions. – anongoodnurse Apr 10 '17 at 16:19
  • I've edited the question in bold text as I think we absolutely deserve to hear how mothers who have faced these social stigmas have dealt with it. I would have liked to be more blunt but I feel the need to try to be sensitive because I've experience a lot of people who will attack you or want to silence these discussions altogether. –  Apr 10 '17 at 16:20
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    I'm somewhat astonished that discussing how to cope the shaming of being a stay at home mom is considered off the topic of parenting. I see threads that even you have commented on, anongoodnurse, that were the exact inverse of parenting and not considered off topic. http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22540/i-dont-know-if-i-love-my-parents Really, let's not shut down a question about stay at home parenting in the modern age. –  Apr 10 '17 at 16:23
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    There is no silencing going on here. It's just that you're asking in the wrong place. I'm so sorry. If you look around the site, you'll see there are no questions such as yours. It's not about your issue, or about you. If you can reformulate the question to make it on topic (see close reason), I will gladly reopen. – anongoodnurse Apr 10 '17 at 16:25
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    Thanks, I am not taking it personally, btw. I realize it's not a duplicate question so I asked it instead of referring to an existing one. I have edited the title as well because perhaps I was unclear at first. –  Apr 10 '17 at 16:26
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    I'll answer in comments, though, if it will make you feel better. I was a part-time SAHM, part-time doctor, which is worse, because doctors are macho people who think putting 70 hours in a week is exactly what they trained for and what is expected of all doctors. Many doctors made snide comments about it initially, and took me less seriously as a doc (until I proved myself as intelligent or moreso than they were.) I just kept doing what I was doing knowing that at the end of my life, I was not the one who was going to say, "I wish I had spent more time with my loved ones." – anongoodnurse Apr 10 '17 at 16:32
  • That's terrible. I'm glad you got through it. Thanks for sharing Well, I'm not sure, but I believed that this fell under the first category of matters of upbringing because choosing to stay at home is generally done with upbringing in mind. I just wanted to know what social and real barriers people experience and how to deal with it. If it gets moved or canned then so be it! Thanks –  Apr 10 '17 at 16:35
  • I think your question can be made to fit with extensive editing. Matters of upbringing refer to 'how to discipline a child for x' and such questions. Give it a try. :) – anongoodnurse Apr 10 '17 at 16:37
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    ( not SAHM). One of the first things we are asked socially is,"What do you do?" It makes people uncomfortable when they meet someone with a degree or a profession and they don't have equal credentials -- perhaps they work with their hands, or are 'only' a 'part time doctor', or whatever! If you are happy, if you are doing what you think is right for your family, if you work hard and are an honest person who contributes to society -- tell them to mind their own business. If they judge you -- it is 'they' who are in the wrong. Brush it off or ask them if they'd like a critique in return? ;) – WRX Apr 10 '17 at 16:51
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    When my daughter was born, I quit my job and spent three years in her care. But I am not the mother, I am the father, so I do not know what kind of shame I'm supposed to feel .... But I can say very clearly, that those three years I stopped working, had no value when during the divorce I tried to get shared custody of my daughter (this is Spain, where males are second class citizens for justice in these matters). – roetnig Apr 11 '17 at 14:06
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    I think this is a particularly American phenomenon. We have never seen or experienced shaming of parenthood "here" or on our travels - but a large percentage of my American friends are complaining about this. – Douglas Held Apr 19 '17 at 09:42

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