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I am 17 years old and I met this sugar daddy online that only wanted to talk and for me to be his companion, nothing sexual. I agreed.

After 2 weeks of talking he said I will be sending you your first allowance. I sent him my full name and email and he sent me a cheque through my email. I deposited the money today. He sent me $800 so now I have $830 (yes I have only $30).

Then he said that he needs help. I needed to buy him 3 steal wallet cards each $50. He is working on an app in Denmark and also works in some type of cryptocurrency. So at first I said why do I need to get it and he said that he lives in Denmark and it needs to be dollar or whatever. I said sure. Then he asked me for paypal because someone was going to paypal me some money and I needed to send it to someone. I disagreed and he said okay. Then I asked him if he is scamming me because I read about fake checks and scamming situations.

I am so anxious and scared I am going to have a panic attack and faint. I don’t know anything I’ve never done this please what should I do?

edit: edit: i blocked him and reported his account. then i went to my bank and told them about it. they put the $800 on hold until it gets returned or something idk. the man texted me from another account saying he will report my account for fraud and have me arrested by Tuesday. i deleted the message and didn’t respond. can he do that ?

sel -
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    Are you aware of what sugar means in sugardaddy? – quid Dec 16 '19 at 07:45
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    Has the cheque cleared till now ? Deposit it in the bank and check for yourself, you will get your answer. – DumbCoder Dec 16 '19 at 08:17
  • yes i did deposit it. i don’t know how long it takes for the cheque to be cleared, when i deposited, it said i can only use $100 and the rest will be available in 4 days. i don’t even know exactly what it means if it’s cleared i’ve never done this before – sel - Dec 16 '19 at 08:21
  • obviously i know what the sugar means that’s why i accepted – sel - Dec 16 '19 at 08:21
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    "obviously i know what the sugar means that’s why i accepted". There's no such thing as a long distance sugar daddy. – RonJohn Dec 16 '19 at 08:27
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    i don’t know man, he didn’t want anything sexual at all i even asked so i accepted. i’m just a big dumbass – sel - Dec 16 '19 at 08:40
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    It is a scam for sure! Not sure what nationality he is, but FYI all personal checks has been decommissioned in Denmark, meaning no individual private person can issue a check here; so if indeed he claims to be Danish, he for sure is not! – ssn Dec 16 '19 at 08:43
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    Greed is the best bait. The "email cheque" is a confirmed scam practice. If you still trying to convince yourself it is not a scam, I will recommend you to go read "Thinking, Fast and slow" to fix it. – mootmoot Dec 16 '19 at 09:16
  • Is 17 above the age of consent for relations with an adult where you live? – Freiheit Dec 16 '19 at 13:51
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    Be aware that while money may become available after a few days, the check itself can still bounce for weeks afterwards. It's a fake check. – ceejayoz Dec 16 '19 at 14:30
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    Yes, what @ceejayoz said. To put a finer point on it: Even if your bank releases the funds, you take out $800 cash and spend it, they can later say: 1. It was fake, your balance is now -$800 (or -$770), 2. It was reported as stolen check, your balance is now -$800 and these gentlemen/ladies in suits would like a word, 3. It was part of a money laundering scheme. These federal agents would like a word, 4. Somethng else. – Damila Dec 16 '19 at 16:14
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    EVERYTHING that the person telling you that seems legit, or makes you say "Why would he give me this, let me do that, allow this if it was fake?" is part of the scam. Back in the day, it was called a con game, which is short for confidence. Meaning the con-man gains your confidence and then robs you blind. – Damila Dec 16 '19 at 16:17
  • Has the cheque cleared till now ? Deposit it in the bank and check for yourself, you will get your answer. I know it's too late for this person, but please do not use your bank's deposit function as a scam test. At the very least, call your bank and ask. Depositing something you feel may not be legitimate does nothing but cause headaches and loss. And there is pretty much no way you can trust the outcome, anyways (many scammer-generated checks will appear to clear just fine). – dwizum Dec 16 '19 at 16:22
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    "i'm just a big dumbass" no, you're not. Plenty of people get scammed and we all make mistakes. At least you recognized something was not quite right about the situation. – Hart CO Dec 16 '19 at 16:23
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    Not to nitpick, but @RonJohn There's no such thing as a long distance sugar daddy that's not really true in this digital age. There is an entire "industry" of (legitimate, at least in the sense of not being scams) online-only sugar relationships. – dwizum Dec 16 '19 at 16:28
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    @dwizum then the meaning of sugar has changed, because Futurama-like VR suits just don't exist yet. – RonJohn Dec 16 '19 at 17:03
  • Are you in the US? You mention dollars, but then you also say "cheque". – Acccumulation Dec 16 '19 at 18:31
  • @Acccumulation Australia or New Zealand? – RonJohn Dec 16 '19 at 19:51
  • @RonJohn Or Canada! – Christian Legge Dec 16 '19 at 20:05
  • @scatter I wasn't sure whether or not Canadians misspell it too. – RonJohn Dec 16 '19 at 20:21
  • i’m from canada – sel - Dec 16 '19 at 21:16
  • Anyone who legit wants to send you money can just use Interac between people in Canada or PayPal for international transfers. The idea of sending a cheque by email is making my BS alarm go off. You're right to be concerned. Whatever you do, don't try spending that money; most likely it will be taken back when they discover the cheque is fake in a couple of weeks. And a legit sugar daddy sends you money, not the other way around. – Michael Hampton Dec 16 '19 at 23:04
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    I get that you're panicky. Panic is an adaptive response to situations that might require fleeing a predator, so your panic response is trying to keep you alive. It is normal. Unfortunately it is not helping you right now because (1) there is no actual threat to your life, and (2) you need a clear head going forwards. Try to remember, there is no time pressure here. Once you're calmer, explain to your bank that someone is trying to defraud you and that you've deposited a bad cheque. This happens every day and they will help you sort it out. – Eric Lippert Dec 16 '19 at 23:44
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    @RonJohn: I think you'll find that Canadians spell cheque correctly and the rest of all y'all have abandoned the Queen's English. :) – Eric Lippert Dec 16 '19 at 23:47
  • @EricLippert we overthrew the Monarchy and their wrong spelling. – RonJohn Dec 16 '19 at 23:52
  • the bank said it’s been happening a lot lately to many people and that i’m not in trouble except that my account may be monitored from time to time which i don’t mind – sel - Dec 17 '19 at 03:52
  • he texted me from a different account saying he can report me and have me arrested for fraud, can he do that ????? please answer – sel - Dec 17 '19 at 05:31
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    @sel- you are probably better off ignoring this person completely, those are empty threats! As if he is going to put himself at risk by trying to have you charged with fraud, it is bit worth it for him as someone might start asking him questions too. Therefore ignore him and most likely you will never get from him again after he has realized it is a lost cause. – ssn Dec 17 '19 at 08:39
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    @sel- and for the future, stop being naive, no one, ever, is going to give you money for nothing! And especially not online. Always ask yourself: “if it is too good to be true then it probably is”. – ssn Dec 17 '19 at 08:42
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    @sel- Re. "and have me arrested for fraud" To all intents and purposes: no, he cannot. This is classic scam / con-man tactics. The "being friends" approach stopped working (you were too aware that it could be a scam) so he goes for scare tactics. While in theory he could try to anonymously report you of "being involved in fraud", this is exceedingly unlikely to happen as there's no benefit to him in doing so (and he doesn't want to expose himself to the authorities). The fact that you've reported the matter to your bank also minimizes any danger were this to actually happen. – TripeHound Dec 17 '19 at 09:39
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    Your updated questions are: can the scammer report my account? Sure. You reported his account, he can do the same to you. Whatever system handles fraud reports in whatever social media network you are using will process the reports and act accordingly. Can the scammer have you arrested? Seems pretty implausible. You did the right thing. Keep doing the right thing. Do not engage. And going forward, stop trying to find men who will pay you for companionship. It's dangerous and foolish, and you have better options. Be smart. – Eric Lippert Dec 17 '19 at 22:25
  • Yes, it's a scam. On a side-note, you won't just lose that $800, but your bank will most likely charge you $35-40 on top of that for returning the check. So be prepared for your account to go into the negative. Note: If the check came from a foreign bank, it can take quite a long time to find out that the check is fake or was stolen. Don't expect a quick resolution. – Stephan Branczyk Dec 19 '19 at 11:18

3 Answers3

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Yes, this is an ongoing scam which gets mentioned every couple days just on this site here.

  1. The "sugar daddy" promises the victim they will give them money for pretty much nothing in return.
  2. They send a fake cheque through email. The cheque will cash at first, but after a couple weeks the banks will notice it is bad and remove the money again. In the meantime, the victim believes that they indeed found someone willing to give them money just for talking to them online.
  3. In the meantime, they try to use the trust they built with the victim to get them to do various stupid things:
    • Send them back part of the cheque - the victim will lose the money when the cheque bounces.
    • Buy gift cards from their own money and give the codes to the scammer so they can withdraw the money.
    • Receive money from hacked banking and paypal accounts and forward it to legitimate accounts (money laundering / money mule).
    • Get the victim to reveal online banking passwords so they can plunder their account.
    • Get the victim to reveal personal information which can be used for identity theft or blackmail.

What should you do when you have fallen for such a person?

Just break contact. Block them on any communication medium.

They might try to threaten you with legal actions because you took their money. Rest assured, it's a scare tactic. They sent you money and getting it back is their problem. After a couple days, the cheque will bounce anyway. If you are not sure about what to do with a probably bad cheque you cashed, contact your bank and ask them when you can expect it to bounce or if you can do anything to accelerate the process so you have peace of mind.

If you fear for your physical safety, call the police. But it is unlikely that they will bother you after they realized you realized it's a scam. They have nothing to gain by that. There are plenty of other victims they can spend their time on in a more efficient way.

Philipp
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    Just break contact. Block them on any communication medium. Also - if you have already deposited the check or done any other financial activity, tell your bank. And, if you met them on a social platform, flag them or report them on that platform. – dwizum Dec 16 '19 at 16:24
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    And report them to an anti-fraud unit. – DJClayworth Dec 16 '19 at 16:50
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    "The cheque will cash at first": is this really possible in the US? This is impossible everywhere in the EU. – John B Dec 16 '19 at 18:08
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    @JohnB The cheque will usually be forged. It will take a while until the impersonated account owner notices that they lost money, will ask the bank to investigate, they will find out that the signature on the cheque doesn't match the one of the account holder they have on file and will reverse the transfer. – Philipp Dec 16 '19 at 18:10
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    @Philipp I see. I doubt that this can happen in the EU, usually it takes about a month to cash a check coming from the US, precisely because of the signatures. Really, it sounds impossible what is described in the question (you have to "buy" a check in case it is in a foreign currency, and only the account owner can do that...). – John B Dec 16 '19 at 18:13
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    Common scam in the US. Here's a link to the FTC's blog describing the various kinds of fake check scams. https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2018/09/anatomy-fake-check-scam – doug Dec 16 '19 at 18:35
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The actual problem here are the USD 800 ...supposed to be checked into your account. Simply because once that check will bounce, the checking account will have a balance of minus USD 800. Once this is the situation, then this financial obligation will force one to comply with the demands.

Better let the bank freeze these funds temporarily and let them run a background check on the sender account (before daring to touch these funds), because it seems as if you're about to be set up to launder stolen funds for some criminal gang. I'd suggest to openly talk with the bank about the suspicion of having been transferred funds, which do not legitimately belong to you and that you have absolutely nothing to do with that scheme. Only if this cannot be proven, you may consider these your's - but if you will spend or even have spent these funds already, you've sold your soul cheap - and it will only get worse once the check bounces.

Understanding Triangulation Fraud might be worth reading and comprehending. In short, they will use your ID to defraud people and you shall forward them these funds without an invoice or a receipt, as their straw woman. The result would be countless fraud lawsuits against your ID and likely also some accumulated debt, due to the reimbursement of these illegitimate transactions.

Such organized crime might be a case for Europol or Interpol, depending where they operate.

There (usually) ain't no such thing as "a free lunch".

Martin Zeitler
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Yes it's a scam.

Yes it's time to talk to your parents.

Yes it's time to report to the police. The police may be interested in continuing conversation with the scammer to set up a sting, and thus protect other youth who are more gullible.

No the money is not really there. Do not spend it. Get with your parents and call the local police today, make sure they communicate with your bank.

No he can't have you arrested. YES calling your local police helps you. Save everything. Print it out.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/12/07/us/video-games-child-sex-abuse.html "Video games and online chats are hunting grounds for sexual predators".

Bryce
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