Using nicknames or first name with high school peers

Question

I have a story set in Japan with Japanese high schoolers (around the ages 17-18). One of them is called Kiwatamura (family name) Ryuko (first name). He is Japanese and lived there as a kid but he spent a few years in America recently. Since English speakers mostly call people by their first name he got used to being called Ryu or Ryuko by his peers. After he came back to Japan and enrolled in high school there with Japanase classmates he realized he still prefers being called Ryu or Ryuko. From what I read, classmates would usually call each other family names without honorifics, so the default would be Kiwatamura for his classmates. I read that sometimes nicknames are also okay. Would these change if someone was a transfer student (aka joining the school and class later but still being the same age).

If he expressed his preference to be called Ryuko to his classmates or kids his age he just met, would they call him that? Would they be actually comfortable using his first name since it was him who asked, or would they just do it to respect his wishes but still feel uncomfortable while doing it?

If he asked his peers to call him Ryu would that be something they would use as a nickname and would be comfortable using it? Or is it too close to his first name?

Would it be likely that in response someone would also tell Ryuko to call them a nickname or their first name? Or would this only happen after they became close friends?

I am looking for real life experiences so I could make the story a bit more authentic. Thank you for all your help!

"From what I read, classmates would usually call each other family names without honorifics" That's not true. And this question is cultural rather than about the language, and thus off-topic here. — Eddie Kal, Apr 09 '21 at 18:19
@EddieKal I think it is debatable whether this is off-topic. In order to be able to communicate effectively and naturally you need to know how people are addressed in a range of situations. — user3856370, Apr 09 '21 at 18:44
Have you considered making this character a foreigner or 二世 returning to Japan? This would make these cultural faux pas more forgivable. — Tom Kelly, Apr 11 '21 at 06:23
Related How does last name-kun/chan compare to 1st name-san? — sundowner, Dec 27 '23 at 14:59

pentagonose · Answer 1 · 2021-04-10T18:12:25.330

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For more precision, often boys use family name rather than first name, but girls often use first name to show the intimacy in Japan.

And it is not too strange if a boy is called by his family name. It's true that boys prefer to use family name, but it is not a strict rule. Tt's not wierd at all that a boy is called by his first name, especially when the boy want it.

edited Apr 10 '21 at 18:12

answered Apr 10 '21 at 18:03

pentagonose

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score 0 · Answer 2 · answered Apr 11 '21 at 06:20

The assumptions here aren't strictly true. Informal and diminutive "honorifics" ~ちゃん and ~くん can be used with either family or given names (or shortened forms of either). This depends on the relationship between the speaker and listener. In particular interactions between family members, intimate partners, very close friends of the same sex, or classmates of the same age tend to be less formal. When to use "keigo" and address each other with full surnames with ~さん or more formal honorifics depends on the situation and the culture.

Social and cultural norms change rapidly, especially in younger people with experiences overseas so you'd have some literary license here. However, there aren't firm rules on when to use nicknames in Japanese so representing this in a culturally authentic way would be difficult if you haven't had experience living in Japan yourself. Given that you're asking this question I'm assuming you haven't.

See here for an explanation on how to use honorifics in Japan. — Tom Kelly, Apr 11 '21 at 06:25

Using nicknames or first name with high school peers

2 Answers2