What is the difference among the three "と" in "私と旦那さんとの今の関係について話すとみんな驚いていました"?

Question

context: ...夜は飲みに行きました。みんなで近況を話して楽しかったです。私と旦那さんとの今の関係について話すとみんな驚いていました。

Do the first two "と" mean the same? If the first two "と" mean "and","I and my husband", why used two "と" here?

And what does the third "と" mean?

Answer 1

The first and second と are listing particles. The second と is optional. As for why と is sometime used twice, see: Question about the と particle in comparative constructs

The third と is a conjunctive meaning "when" or "and (then)". See: Differences among -たら, なら, -と, -んだったら, -ば, etc