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I am a 15-year-old schoolboy. This year a new girl took admission in my class. More than often, in the beginning, I saw her staring at me. Sometimes even I gave a look to her. This happened for many days.

Amidst this, I realised that I started liking that girl! I have kinda a crush on her.

Once I heard her talk about Harry Potter with her bench partner. May be she is a potterhead? Cause I am a potterhead! So this can be a starting point for the conversation. We have never talked to each other ever before, so this would be first time I will be interacting with her.

How do I mix up with her properly by starting a conversation?

Location: Maharashtra (state), India. In India, specially where I come from, at least in my school, it's not so common for boys to talk with girls in open, due to many pre assumed notions.

EDIT 1: I got her number from her school friend. Now my question is similar to this: How to contact a girl whose number I got from somebody else?

I am not referring to the answers here because the context is different. It's more on dating - girlfriend side, and we are just school students.

How do I message her without being seen as creepy? I have her WhatsApp number. I don't wanna tell her that I like her at very first, but rather become friendly with her.

EDIT 2: I have confirmed that she's a big fan of Harry Potter. So, I have an idea. What if I message her something like this:

After all this time?

This is one of the most popular lines in the Harry Potter series. I expect that she might reply:

Always .

Then I would introduce myself. Is it a good idea? I hope someone finds this worth answerable.

AbVk1718
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  • How do you know she was staring at you if this was done online? Anyway, maybe try asking her a question about homework/course materials. – Stephan Branczyk Feb 21 '22 at 17:40
  • The staring took place in classroom, no where I mentioned it was done online – AbVk1718 Feb 21 '22 at 18:25
  • @StephanBranczyk this might not work as she will doubt as to why I am asking her and not other girls to whom I am friends with – AbVk1718 Feb 21 '22 at 18:26
  • "I want to tell her over text that I like her." -> how would you get her number at first? – OldPadawan Feb 21 '22 at 18:41
  • So, you can't directly tell her. But how much conversation are you planning on having first then? What topics do you need to converse about? – Tinkeringbell Feb 22 '22 at 07:21
  • Yeah, I can't directly tell her as it might make a bad impression of mine (I think so). I think I can talk about her interests. About her likes or dislikes, or something better if someone suggests. There's no limit for me on how long the conversation may go. @Tinkeringbell – AbVk1718 Feb 22 '22 at 08:41
  • If there's something else I should mention or add, do let me know, so that it becomes easier to answer the question. – AbVk1718 Feb 22 '22 at 13:28
  • Anyone with any suggestion or advice? – AbVk1718 Feb 24 '22 at 10:53
  • In my experience as an Indian, people I knew talked to their interests through social media like Instagram and all. The idea of asking phone number is some what culturally inappropriate. – tryst with freedom Feb 24 '22 at 15:16
  • So will it be a good idea to msg her on MS teams or Instagram (not sure if she has an account)? @Buraian – AbVk1718 Feb 24 '22 at 15:27
  • Please don't use comment box to chit-chat or partial answer, you can do that in chat :) – OldPadawan Feb 24 '22 at 16:37
  • @OldPadawan where can I find the chat box? – AbVk1718 Feb 24 '22 at 17:07
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    The awkward silence chat is here – OldPadawan Feb 24 '22 at 18:16
  • Your [edit] means this post is now asking multiple questions at once, some of them also mentioned in our [help/on-topic] as being off-topic. Please, next time, don't edit your to ask more than 1 question. Also, the use of 'EDIT' sections is frowned upon across the SE network, if people want to see what was changed through editing they can access the revision history of a post, otherwise such sections are just noise and should be incorporated into the post without being separate sections. – Tinkeringbell Mar 15 '22 at 14:04

2 Answers2

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Don't. That's kind of creepy. You should ask HER for her number. I know that I would be very creeped out if someone texted me without me giving them my number first.

OldPadawan
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Jaxon
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  • Please note that once people start editing their posts to ask multiple questions in one, and asking questions that are described in our [help/on-topic] as being off-topic, the question should be closed, not answered. Moderators can't be everywhere at once, we have to rely on community members to do this. – Tinkeringbell Mar 15 '22 at 14:05
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Your friend giving you this person's personal information without asking is potentially violating her personal boundaries. This might feel really hard to do, but I'd suggest deleting her number.

Next, opening with "after all this time", "always" might seem very romantic, but actually Snape was a jealous, sad person who didn't treat the object of his affection with respect and then never moved on. You can imagine how maybe that might not conjure the right imagery.

Are the pre-assumed notions that boys and girls who talk to each other are dating? That doesn't seem so bad. Are the pre-assumed notions that boys who talk to girls aren't real men? That seems like a notion a brave person might want to fight against.

A great way to open a conversation if you're in classes together (or any time you're in a position to hear her talk) is to wait until she says something you think was interesting or smart, and then let her know that you thought it was interesting and ask her what else she thinks about it. 10/10.

Allxie
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  • The pre-assumed notion is that boys and girls who talk to each other like each other, and also that such boys "aren't strong boys". – AbVk1718 Mar 12 '22 at 06:15
  • Please note that once people start editing their posts to ask multiple questions in one, and asking questions that are described in our [help/on-topic] as being off-topic, the question should be closed, not answered. Moderators can't be everywhere at once, we have to rely on community members to do this. – Tinkeringbell Mar 15 '22 at 14:01