Which pronoun do I use to refer a gender-neutral subject?

Question

I want to say that "Feeding from a human doesn't mean killing them" (yes, vampire stuff), but I feel like the them I'm using isn't correct.

But I don't want to use he/she because a human can be either, and I don't want to use it because it sounds weird. What is the best option here?

Not your fault, but EL&U desperately need a list of the most commonly asked questions on the right-hand side. This will help visitors immediately find the answers they are looking for and save veteran users time in posting relavant links and close questions for being duplicates. — Mari-Lou A, Sep 20 '18 at 07:41
We resort to the singular they because of a lack of alternatives. We rephrase where possible to avoid the mess. "Feeding from doesn't mean killing a human." — Kris, Sep 20 '18 at 07:52
The solution is easier than you think, change the singular "human" to the plural "Feeding from humans doesn't mean killing them" Although I have strong reserves about its phrasing/structure. — Mari-Lou A, Sep 20 '18 at 07:52
Related: 1 Why use singular they? Why not make a new word to distinguish its meaning?, 2 Why haven't we used “it” instead of “he or she”?, and 3 Is it appropriate to refer to a person of unknown sex by “it”? — Mari-Lou A, Sep 20 '18 at 08:00

Colm · Answer 1 · 2018-09-20T10:50:05.360

0

Using "them" as a gender-neutral pronoun in this way is grammatically acceptable and is what a modern, native speaker would say.

Much has been written about the use of "them"as a replacement for the antiquated "him" as an epicene. You could restructure to use the plural "humans" in line with traditional advice but it is progressively more acceptable to use the singular they (them) as you have.

edited Sep 20 '18 at 10:50

answered Sep 20 '18 at 10:35

Colm

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Which pronoun do I use to refer a gender-neutral subject?

1 Answers1