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I'm trying to find the right word or phrasing for a specific action.

Person A, wearing armour, is incapacitated on the floor. Person B (much physically larger) comes along and picks him up by slipping a hand through the cracks of his breastplate and then lifting him off the floor, lugging Person A along him like a luggage bag.

The way I worded it is very clunky and lacks clarity. I'm having a difficult time figuring out how to phrase the action of Person A being picked up. If anyone, who is better at english, can help me out, it would be greatly appreciated.

EnglishAmateur
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  • You have duplicated the "lugging" and "luggage" ideas. Also "along him" doesn't work, did you mean "along with him"? I suggest dragging Person A behind him like a luggage bag. – Weather Vane May 03 '18 at 23:40
  • I'll try to rephrase it. Like I said, the way I worded it is very clunky and lacks clarity but what I'm trying to express is: Person B bends down and picks Person A off the floor with one hand, gripping him by the collar of his breastplate and then carries him alongside him like a briefcase? Not really dragging him behind. – EnglishAmateur May 03 '18 at 23:59
  • You can't pick someone up and carry him by the collar like a briefcase - it would have to at his centre of gravity - say his waist band or belt. Otherwise you would have to drag Person A. – Weather Vane May 04 '18 at 00:04
  • He's wearing armour... the breastplate is rigid. Anyways, it's fiction. Even if it doesn't make sense, if anyone could help me out with the phrasing etc. That would be great. – EnglishAmateur May 04 '18 at 00:13
  • It doesn't matter how rigid the breastplate is, you can't carry someone off the floor away from the centre of gravity. I already suggested better phrasing. If it's science fiction, introduce antigrav, otherwise fiction still has to be plausible. Aside: there is nothing worse than the star in a movie wearing spectacles with flat lenses. They ruin the whole thing. – Weather Vane May 04 '18 at 00:22
  • Have you seen infinity war? Thanos does the same exact thing to Thor in the beginning of the film. – EnglishAmateur May 04 '18 at 00:26
  • I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it amounts to a request for writing advice. If you specified a particular word or phrase that you think is incorrect or don't understand or suspect is ungrammatical, you might be able to edit your original question to pose an on-topic question about that particular problem. – Sven Yargs May 04 '18 at 07:06

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