Say a person (e.g. your brother-in-law) who enters your house without being invited, opens your fridge without asking, etc. How do you describe that? Not just "impolite" of course, something more specific and informal.
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1Trespasser....? – WS2 May 21 '14 at 07:47
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3'House' - The character in House MD TV show. You are describing him . – Keneni May 21 '14 at 16:25
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1^ +1 for a reference to the greatest medical drama ever :'). – Lou May 21 '14 at 18:00
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I met a guy in college that basically talked at me, followed me home talking, more or less invited himself in, and then later would simply walk into my apartment without knocking. At which point I figured I should learn his name at least. And have a discussion about knocking. – Mooing Duck May 21 '14 at 20:31
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4Lock your door. – Oldcat May 21 '14 at 23:30
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6@MooingDuck - was that guy's name Cosmo Kramer by any chance? – Vector May 22 '14 at 04:18
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I’d have a word for your brother-in-law, but I think Stack Overflow’s profanity filter would stop me posting it. – Martin Bean May 22 '14 at 08:11
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"Without so much as a by-your-leave"? – Jamie Twells May 22 '14 at 20:12
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1@Vector Or Joey Tribbiani :p – paddotk May 23 '14 at 18:44
13 Answers
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overfamiliar [Farlex] - taking undue liberties
and
b. Unduly forward or brash; offensively presumptuous: She displayed an overfamiliar attitude toward her superiors. [AHDEL]
Edwin Ashworth
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3While technically accurate, in my opinion this word comes across as much more formal than presumptuous. While sounding great in writing, I wouldn't tell someone that they're "being overfamiliar"; I would say that they're "being presumptuous." I've never heard this word used verbally in place of presumptuous. Granted, the OP didn't specify how or where the term would be used. – May 24 '14 at 18:48
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In the given example, I would find both the behaviour, and the person committing it, to be presumptuous:
(Of a person or their behaviour) failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate
However, this could sound somewhat reserved, and definitely doesn't have any bite. As the question is a request for something specific and informal, my reflexive response to somebody taking it upon themselves to start rifling through my fridge would be that they're taking the piss:
to take liberties at the expense of others, or to be unreasonable.
There is a nice question regarding this idiom on English.StackExchange, with user @Orbling providing a splendid explanation of phrase's meaning in the context we're dealing with here.
This is a British (and I think Australian) idiom, so I don't know if Americans and other English speakers would understand the meaning. It is vulgar, so if it's your priest or solicitor who is scoffing your Dairylea Triangles, you might not want to resort to this; however it's not overly rude, and could certainly be used amongst friends, family and even colleagues with whom you have a good relationship.
Having said that, somebody who marches into your house and begins helping themselves to your food really is taking the piss, so I personally wouldn't be too worried about offending such a misanthropic slob.
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2I don't know if this varies widely, but I live in the south of England and "taking the piss" is closer in meaning to mocking or making fun of. At the harsh end it can be a form of bullying, and at the light end it's mere teasing. I've never heard the phrase being used in the context you described. – Lou May 21 '14 at 14:08
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2@LeoKing I grew up and still live in London, and here 'taking the piss' can either have the definition you've given, or the one alluded to in my answer: taking advantage of hospitality, exploiting generosity, or otherwise not contributing your fair share. I'd be interested to know whether this second definition exists elsewhere in the UK and other territories where 'take the piss' is a recognised expression! – 568ml May 21 '14 at 14:59
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3@LeoKing That usage is more common, but there's also the (related) one that 586ml refers to: something or someone that is so unreasonable it's almost a joke. "My postman used to wake me up at 8 a.m., then he started coming at 6 - now it's half four! It's just taking the piss, really, isn't it?" – starsplusplus May 21 '14 at 15:23
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2@starsplusplus I think you're at the crux of this 'second' definition: it's a behaviour so far in excess of what's acceptable that it implies a disregard and disrespect akin to ridicule. – 568ml May 21 '14 at 15:31
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I always read the usage you just described in line with the first definition, as if it was saying "My postman used to wake me up at 8 a.m., then he started coming at 6 - now it's half four! He's making fun of me, isn't he?" Something like that. Anyway, it's good to know - I've only visited London and never for a great length of time, so I've never noticed much idiolect. :) – Lou May 21 '14 at 17:58
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In British English I'd say:
- He's got a (lot of) nerve, helping himself like that.
- Fig. great rudeness; a lot of audacity or brashness. (*Typically: have ~; take ~.)
He walked out on her, and that took a lot of nerve!
You have a lot of nerve! You took my parking place!
What (a) nerve! and Of all the nerve!
Inf. How rude!
- Bob: Lady, get the devil out of my way! Mary: What a nerve!
- Jane: You can't have that one! I saw it first! Sue: Of all the nerve! I can too have it!
Impertinent boldness: had the cheek to insult his hosts
(U.S. informal) I'm amazed they have the cheek to ask in the first place
- He's got a cheek coming to my home without being invited.
Other informal synonyms are:
Mari-Lou A
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1I've never heard a cheek (with this meaning of cheek). I'd just say, "He's got cheek...". the cheek or cheek, never a cheek – Tim S. May 22 '14 at 17:16
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First example of "a lot of nerve" is a different meaning than "rudeness", more "bravery". – James May 23 '14 at 01:45
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@James if you think about it, a person who presents himself at your door without previously calling, opens your fridge and helps himself to your food, switches on your telly or changes the channel you are watching requires a type of arrogant courage, as in how dare he?! or does he really think he can get away with this?! In the first example, if the wife is exemplary and has no obvious fault, then yes, the husband who walks out on her (especially if children are involved in the abandonment) "has a lot of nerve"= effrontery/audacity. You could also call him shameless. – Mari-Lou A May 23 '14 at 04:29
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@Mari-Lou Oddly enough I read that example backwards, something like "She finally removed herself and her kids from that abusive relationship. That took a lot of nerve". It works, and it doesn't mean shameless, which is kind of strange as all I did was reverse the genders. – James May 23 '14 at 14:00
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+1 for chutzpah! The Etymology section of its wikipedia article is quite informative. – May 24 '14 at 19:14
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His behaviour can also be described as intrusive.
GMB
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Behaviour, while a perfectly fine spelling, is the British version of the American, also perfectly fine, behavior. – GMB May 23 '14 at 01:26
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You might rather want to say 'behavior' is an American version of the Brisish English word, not the other way around. English comes from Britain, of course. Not to mention this is entirely off-topic ;) – paddotk May 23 '14 at 18:46
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Ill-mannered or impudent can be used to describe this attitude.
Behaving boldly, with contempt or disregard for propriety in behavior toward others; unblushingly forward; impertinent; saucy.
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Your brother-in-law is inurbane.
Inurbanity: Lack of urbanity or courtesy; unpolished manners or deportment; inurbaneness; rudeness. --Bp. Hall. [1913 Webster]
Third News
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Excessively laid back.
I'd also use 'nerve' and 'cheek' as already suggested by Mari-Lou-A
Russell McMahon
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Discourteous seems appropriate.
rude or impolite : not showing good manners
showing rudeness and a lack of consideration for other people.
You could also consider insolent, though that may be harsher than necessary in my opinion.
boldly rude or disrespectful; contemptuously impertinent; insulting
Rude, ill-mannered, or just plain impolite should also suffice.
In Chinese culture, we normally describe people exhibiting this behavior as 没家教, which roughly translates to poor family upbringing, and reflects badly on the individual's parents.
