What tense should I use talking about a dead man

Question

That may be weird, but anyway.

I am at a funeral. What tense should I use if I want to express that I had known a man since 1990 before he died? As he is dead, we cannot use Present Perfect, right?

(I knew him since...? Or there is only one way to express it — to use Past Perfect?)

P.S. I am giving a eulogy

You said you are giving a speech, but I'm inclined to think you are probably giving a eulogy. — J.R., Nov 29 '21 at 19:05
Related questions: Present perfect or past simple when talking about someone who's just died, An employer tried to tell me that it is wrong to say, "someone was dead", Husband is dead: He and his wife {are/were} great scientists, Reference to dead people in past or present tense? — ColleenV, Nov 29 '21 at 20:58

score 3 · Answer 1 · answered Nov 29 '21 at 19:04

3

In this context, I would use simple past tense verbs:

We met in 1990. We were close friends until he died.

answered Nov 29 '21 at 19:04

J.R.

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score 0 · Answer 2 · answered Nov 29 '21 at 22:51

There is an element of opinion here. I personally feel that when talking about a very recently deceased person (especially at their funeral) the present perfect can be appropriate. It might be one of those situations where feeling can triumph over logic, where the heart is wiser than the brain. A (downvoted!) answer, that I think is wise, to an ELL question says:

If we're talking about a recently deceased person, e.g. this sentence is part of his eulogy, either tense seems correct. Because you're at that critical point where you are transitioning from [the deceased] being in the present, to him being a person from the past. This transition can be different for other people. His wife will presumably take longer to recognize him as a person from the past than e.g. his insurance agent.

The use of present perfect on someone who has passed away

What tense should I use talking about a dead man

2 Answers2