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  1. Is it the necessary before authorities? I have found the word authorities is used with and without it, so I am not sure.
  2. I want to drive the attention to the phrase: she can demonstrate the international academic.... However, if I place this sentence first and... by receiving education in countries known for .. after, I would have no opportunity to place a comma between both sentences, thus making the general phrase too long.

How to drive the attention to the phrase I am interested in without making it too long?

The authorities in our country want to hire people with experience and beyond the average qualities, as is the case with Hassim. On the one hand, she speaks English but also has working experience with the government, which are characteristics of high demand in our country with a deficient number of professionals having them. On the other hand, by receiving education in countries known for their high standards of investigation in food issues, she can demonstrate the international academic background required to take strategic decisions based on the latest statistical data.

or.

The authorities in our country want to hire people with experience and beyond the average qualities, as is the case with Hassim. On the one hand, she speaks English but also has working experience with the government, which are characteristics of high demand in our country with a deficient number of professionals having them. On the other hand, she can demonstrate the international academic background required to take strategic decisions based on the latest statistical data by receiving education in countries known for their high standards of investigation in food issues

pepo
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  • deomnstrate a profile with makes almost no sense to me. – Colin Fine Oct 31 '20 at 14:19
  • @Colin Fine She can demonstrate she has the international academic background required to take strategic decisions based on the latest statistical data by receiving education in countries known for their high standards of investigation in food issues. . It would be better this way I guess. – pepo Oct 31 '20 at 14:37
  • The sentence seems too long to me either way and I would split it somehow. demonstrate the international academic background is better than the version with profile I think. – mdewey Oct 31 '20 at 16:18
  • *by* and *in* can be effectively "optional" before a continuous verb in an adverbial clause. For example, *[By] living abroad, my brother avoided attending many of our family gatherings, or [In] giving you this ring, I plight my troth*. Not the best examples maybe, but the point is made. – FumbleFingers Oct 31 '20 at 17:25
  • @FumbleFingersReinstateMonica My question isn't on whether I can avoid using By. Please remove the link you suggested. – pepo Oct 31 '20 at 20:06
  • I guess I don't really understand the point of this question. You seem to be asking whether it's "better" to include the adverbial "by" clause before or after the main clause, but I don't see how that relates to "reduced sentence length" in your title. And as others have pointed out, your text has far more significant problems than the position of that clause. – FumbleFingers Nov 01 '20 at 12:37
  • @FumbleFingersReinstateMonica The point in this question is: How to drive the attention to the phrase I am interested in without making it too long?. I am providing two different arrangements to read suggestions about it. I am using By to indicate that it could be put first or after. However, if I put it after, It does not allow me to add a comma, which makes the sentence too long. That is the challenge, how to arrange the clauses to drive attention to the main one without making it too long?. – pepo Nov 01 '20 at 13:23
  • oic. Well, it seems pretty clear your text is inherently too complex for it to make much difference which way round you phrase it, so I'd suggest a complete rewrite. But that's what I'd call Off Topic "writing advice", which you should more properly be looking for on SO Writers – FumbleFingers Nov 01 '20 at 14:10

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