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She is the one whom I love the most.

During an English lesson, this sentence came up and my answer was whom. My teacher told me that it is not the best answer (that is who), it is kind of awkward and she would not use it should she say something like this.

Could anybody comment on the use of whom in Modern English and how acceptable it is?

Is there any case when whom cannot be replaced with who, either stylistically or grammatically?

  • A simple pointer (tip) for you: If the verb is be, the pronoun "who" should be used. "Who is he?" "The person who is** at the door is John." – Lambie May 05 '18 at 13:22
  • Another simple tip: Would you use he or him in the statement? If you would use he, then use who; if you would use him then use whom. I love he? No, that's not right, you would say I love him*, so it must be "whom* I love". – stangdon May 05 '18 at 13:24
  • When one is a native speaker with a certain level of education, one intuits when it's best to use whom. There are certain situations where who may be used instead of whom. That said, I do not consider a sentence like this - "Whom did you see?" (did you emphasized) to be stilted. And personally, were it necessary to say in speech "to + whom", I would never say "to+ who" for "To whom did you give it?" Although, I would probably say: Who did you give it to? – Lambie May 05 '18 at 14:12
  • Also see this answer. In some phrases, as the answers suggest, whom is preferable, but most of these are already somewhat formal (i.e. the mentioned fronting of a preposition). It's fossilized in expressions such as To whom it may concern (this is formal and is used in letters), and the LDOCE says: "Whom is usually used only in the phrases one of whom, none of whom, some of whom etc." – this is where it doesn't sound stilted/pompous in informal style. –  May 05 '18 at 14:19
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    @Lambie Whom did you see? sounds formal and thus stilted in most conversations. I would never recommend that a learner use it. The same goes for To whom did you give it?. *To who did you give it? is simply ungrammatical and consequently isn't used anyway. –  May 05 '18 at 14:47
  • @userr2684291 "Whom did you see?" is perfectly fine, as is "To whom did you give it?". Whether you should use it depends on context and culture, as in many grade schools it might get you beat up for your lunch money, but that doesn't mean it's poor grammar. – Andrew May 05 '18 at 15:54
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    @Andrew I'm not saying it's ungrammatical but that, yeah, it might get you beat up for your lunch money. –  May 05 '18 at 16:06

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