When it is come to "dana" I heard many times "First do something for loved ones".
I don't have any confusion regarding "dana" generosity.
But lately I'm thinking indulge partner is means worthless (being emotional or emotionally doing something for partner) or just fragile thing.
If I'm buying something or even giving rose to partner, is it worthless?
Is being emotional means cheap, am I thinking wrong?
Happy Vesak to all of you
There's some talk about that here -- A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective
THE HUSBAND
The Buddha, in reply to a householder as to how a husband should minister to his wife declared that the husband should always honor and respect his wife, by being faithful to her, by giving her the requisite authority to manage domestic affairs and by giving her befitting ornaments. This advice, given over twenty five centuries ago, still stands good for today.
Knowing the psychology of the man who tends to consider himself superior, the Buddha made a remarkable change and uplifted the status of a woman by a simple suggestion that a husband should honor and respect his wife. A husband should be faithful to his wife, which means that a husband should fulfill and maintain his marital obligations to his wife thus sustaining the confidence in the marital relationship in every sense of the word. The husband, being a bread-winner, would invariably stay away from home, hence he should entrust the domestic or household duties to the wife who should be considered as the keeper and the distributor of the property and the home economic-administrator. The provision of befitting ornaments to the wife should be symbolic of the husband's love, care and attention showered on the wife. This symbolic practice has been carried out from time immemorial in Buddhist communities. Unfortunately it is in danger of dying out because of the influence of modern civilization.
That's a reference to DN 31
"In five ways should a wife as the western direction be respected by a husband: by honoring, not disrespecting, being faithful, sharing authority, and by giving gifts.
"And, the wife so respected reciprocates with compassion in five ways: by being well-organized, being kindly disposed to the in-laws and household workers, being faithful, looking after the household goods, and being skillful and diligent in all duties.
In this way, the western direction is protected and made peaceful and secure.
It hardly matters whether you give rose or not. It hardly matters whether you consider emotions or feelings as cheap or not.
If a person has a dart in his heart will you ask him how is his relationship with his girl friend or wife ? No , you will not. Your focus will be on remedying the wound.Buddha asks us to do exactly that. Understand this is suffering, this is the origin of suffering , this is the cessation of suffering and this is the path leading to the cessation of suffering. On the path leading to the cessation of suffering you will find that one should not cling to any feelings. Good feeling or bad feeling or neutral feeling , just do not cling to it.
All feelings are inferred to be impermanent, inconstant, an ill, and you can say worthless to that extent sure. Buddha compared even a tiny spell of existence to excrement and taught cessation of feeling & perception.
There is that sense of them being worthless.
There is another sense in which some feelings lead to the cessation of perception & feeling, they are to that extent wholesome states, are path.
These on that account aren't worthless as they are means to achieving value even tho they aren't the value they are the right ones leading to attainment of value.
