How to cure pain(Heartache, Sorrow)?

Question

We've cling to nothing, no attachments and no bond to not to being suffered. But as a layman it's going through all and face sorrow and like mind is lost. It's same I loose my mind. I don't feel nothing for what things hurt me, feel barren. Don't feels normal. How can I become normal again and feel happy?

Answer 1

In a comment you wrote, "I wander to find one in my nearest city but I return back with nothing. It's little bit hard."

I'm thinking that you still have Dhamma when you don't have Sangha.

I think you don't "cure" pain, but Dhamma might teach you to recognize it when it arises: e.g. something triggers a feeling of sorrow, and you can note, "this is sorrow".

Eventually (if the experience is repeated) you learn to recognize what triggers sorrow, and perhaps you choose to not grasp (not hold to, attach to) the situation and/or sequence of thoughts which lead to sorrow.

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In addition there are things you can do as a lay-person which may lead to non-sorrow. For example the practice of ethics (sila), behaving ethically, should result in a "lack of remorse". Or "identity view" results in sorrow, for which a converse might be anatta, sunyata, dana, and so on. And it's important to have or find good friends (who, you might find if you choose to join good communal activities).

Also there are things you might do to look after yourself medically, which might help your mood. For example I read an article recently where someone was describing how their doctor treated them for clinical depression: their treatment required therapy and eventually drugs, but the first thing the doctor told her was that, even if she took sick leave from her job, she should keep up her physical exercise -- in her case, running up-hill in the morning. Being depressed she didn't feel like exercising as she used to, but she found someone else to do it with, which (scheduling an appointed time to do it with someone else) helped to motivate her to do it regularly. What I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure that medical doctors recommend physical exercise as a treatment for heartache.

Also you mention "normal" twice. I suppose you're thinking of some time in the past as "normal" but I'm not sure there's such a thing. Things are impermanent, people die for example, you can't afford to think of the past as normal and the present as abnormal.

Changing your expectations might help too: if you expect to be happy and normal, and you're not, then you're surprised and unhappy. If you expect that desires and attachments cause sorrow then you're not so surprised and, having recognized "this is sorrow" and "this is the cause of sorrow" you may be better able to condition cessation of that sorrow.

Answer 2

As Buddhists, we take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma & Sangha. If you have strong suffering, the Sangha is important, where you can talk to & be with sincere & compassionate practitioners. You should find a good Buddhist group to visit.

When I was dissatisfied with life, I left my family, country & home at 23 years old to search for something, unknown. Fortunately, 10 weeks later, I found Buddhism in a practise centre in Asia.

You have already found Buddhism but if there is no Buddhism near you, like many in history, you can consider a spiritual journey to a suitable place. Or talk to someone by phone or Skype who speaks your language. The Sangha (community of practitioners) is an equally important refuge.

Answer 3

Headache and sorrow leads to unpleasant sensation which in turn lead to aversion. You have to keep your mind equanimous noting impermanence.

This is easy said than done. To practice how to do it properly take a retreat, if you have not done so already and at least once a year.