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In Japanese, referring to people as "it" considered rude. Instead of "it", We say "that person" or information of the person (ex. a person who wares a blue shirt).

In English, Is referring to people as "it" considered rude?

ra1ned
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4 Answers4

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English doesn't have the same kind of strictures regarding how to reference people as Japanese does. We don't, out of politeness, refer to people as "that side" or "next door" (the way my Japanese in-laws do), but we definitely don't refer to people as it unless we are being extremely rude or condescending. Even then, this is something that would be said only in the heat of anger, and would be hard to take back.

Even babies are called he or she if the gender is known.

At all costs, avoid referring to someone as it.

Robusto
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  • So ... why the downvote? Is there someone out there who feels calling others it is good form? Speak up if you do. – Robusto Dec 04 '16 at 02:26
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    I didn't downvote, but I don't think it's rude to refer to neighbors as in for example "next door left their car blocking the driveway" or whatever. – mattdm Dec 04 '16 at 06:38
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    @mattdm "their" is not the same as "it." Imagine if you said "next door left its car blocking the driveway." Either you're personifying the dwelling, as if the neighbors themselves did not exist, or you're objectifying the neighbors, saying they're nothing more than mere objects. I don't see how either could be considered not rude. – phyrfox Dec 04 '16 at 06:52
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    Right, I'm not disagreeing with not saying "it". It's the other point I disagree with, and I'm guessing maybe the downvoter does too. – mattdm Dec 04 '16 at 06:57
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    Calling a baby of indeterminate gender, "it", is also not ok. –  Dec 04 '16 at 07:14
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    @BaileyS: "Is it a boy or a girl?" is probably the most common question asked of new parents. – Robusto Dec 04 '16 at 07:39
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    @Robusto But there the 'it' is functionally different. It's the same as 'Who is there? Is it Alex?', which we don't consider as refering to Alex as 'it'. – tim Dec 04 '16 at 09:00
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    @tim I guess someone who thinks that it in "Is it a boy or a girl?" refers to child as "it" is also likely to think that it in "Is it Alex?" refers to unknown person as "it", and vice versa. You can just cut out the middleman and say that you don't consider "Is it a boy or a girl?" as referring to the child as "it". – Daerdemandt Dec 04 '16 at 09:54
  • @Robusto Good point, but more of an exception to the rule (at least among the people I talk to). Still not a great idea to ask, "Should we buy it clothes before the ultrasound?" Asking a pregnant woman if it is healthy would probably be abrasive at least, if not offensive. –  Dec 04 '16 at 10:31
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    @Robusto "Is it a boy or a girl?" is the same as "Is this baby a boy or a girl?", in the most usual case. Parents usually mean "Is my baby a boy or a girl?". – EKons Dec 04 '16 at 12:57
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    I'm aware of the use of it as a dummy subject. But in the real world, it is used as a personal pronoun in English for babies one doesn't know the sex of, and its usage is usually an opening gambit probing for what gender to use when referring to it. – Robusto Dec 04 '16 at 15:29
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    I have four children, and referred to all of them as "it" occasionally when they were in utero. "So, what should we name the baby if it's* a girl?" "The baby's going to change a lot of things when it gets here." "My son is so excited about the baby, he's even promised to change its diapers." Those usages are not offensive, just practical to avoid a bunch of circumlocution or unnatural repetition of "the baby". Now, once the baby's born, it is* a little creepy to hear "*its skin is so soft!*" (a six-year-old said this about my baby this weekend). – 1006a Dec 04 '16 at 19:31
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In English, you use it to refer to objects, not people. So it would be very rude and not grammatical - not only do you use a wrong pronoun gender, you also implicitly objectify that person.

You should use he or she for men and women respectively. If you're looking for a gender-neutral pronoun, they is a commonly accepted option - although it's also slightly impersonal and might offend some people. The debate on proper gender-neutral pronouns is rather long and heated, though, so better not to get into it too much.

Sometimes you'll see it used to refer to very small children - infant and young toddlers - but it's still best to avoid it in favor of gendered or proper gender-neutral pronouns.

EDIT: The comments raise a good point on gender-neutral pronouns, so it might be worth it to expand on the issue.

Back in the past, if you didn't know the person's gender, you would simply default to "he":

?Every employee has to be at his desk at 1PM.

Today, however, this is considered rather rude - it implies that the male form is the default one, and the female one is an exception. That's probably not an implication you want to make. You might, however, still see it in the wild, along with the (these days seemingly a bit more common) generic "she", so it's worth it to know that it might refer to both genders depending on the context.

A somewhat better alternative is to use "he or she" (or he/she, or s/he, etc.):

?Every employee has to be at his or her desk at 1PM.

While it is inclusive towards men and women, it doesn't include people who wouldn't want to be referred to as either - people with androgynous, genderfluid, or otherwise non-binary gender identity. It's also awkward to use when referring to a specific person:

*Charlie has to be at his or her desk at 1PM.

It's usually suitable, but if you don't know whether all the recipients of your message fit into either of the two categories, it's better to stray on the safe side.

Singular "they" is currently the most common gender-neutral pronoun, and in most situations it's an acceptable solution:

?Every employee has to be at their desk at 1PM.

That doesn't mean it's free from critique, though - some people perceive it as ungrammatical (due to its association with plural forms), others consider it impersonal and objectifying. In some cases it also doesn't sound quite right:

?/*Either the husband or the wife will have to sign it themselves.

There have been attempts to find a better alternative with dedicated gender-neutral pronouns - Spivak pronouns, zhe, xe, and several others.

?Every employee has to be at zhers desk at 1PM.

Those, however, have not entered common usage for now, and are mostly associated with LGBTQ communities. They're also criticized as "unnatural-sounding" or "artificial".

Currently, using the singular they seems to be the best option, at least until a better solution catches on. It depends on your audience, though - as I've said, there's a lot of debate on proper use of pronouns, especially regarding the last category.

Maciej Stachowski
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    Don’t recomend improper use of they to learners! You'll notice that what such vulgar people are typically doing is not using `they’ as singular, but making the pronoun and verb agreement plural. – JDługosz Dec 04 '16 at 08:18
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    "Heated debate" and "commonly accepted" are pretty contradictory. If you find the debate worth mentioning then either listing other options too, or not listing options altogether, or listing one option you prefer and justifying why it's better than alternatives are all better than just giving one option you prefer as an accepted solution and saying "let's not look at it too closely". If there is a heated debate you don't want to get into, not stating your opinion on the matter is most efficient. – Daerdemandt Dec 04 '16 at 09:48
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    @JDługosz I don't think Maciej suggested to misuse 'they', but to use singular they, which is not improper use. The proper verb form to use with singular they is indeed plural. – tim Dec 04 '16 at 11:14
  • @Daerdemandt - good point, I've added more information. I've also turned the answer into the community wiki, in case someone wants to add more (or politely disagree). – Maciej Stachowski Dec 04 '16 at 15:25
  • @JDługosz And I suppose everyone who uses the plural form of verbs with singular you are also vulgar and improper? – KRyan Dec 05 '16 at 00:57
  • @KRyan it took about 100 years for the “you” shift to occur, and it is really used as singular or plural rather than speakers feeling like the plural verb “goes with” that word when it is used as a singular. And «everyone…are» really?? – JDługosz Dec 05 '16 at 01:11
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    @tim «The proper verb form to use with singular they is indeed plural.» that doesn’t make sense. And this is getting off topic. – JDługosz Dec 05 '16 at 01:15
  • @JDługosz "They (singular/plural) use (plural)", not "They uses." – mbomb007 Dec 05 '16 at 15:28
  • @JDługosz singular they is used in WashPo and NYT style guides. I think it's fair to disseminate advice to ESLs based on what major English newspapers incorporate into their internal guides. You can read more here http://qz.com/578937/this-year-marks-a-new-language-shift-in-how-english-speakers-use-pronouns/ – djechlin Dec 05 '16 at 16:36
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    Using it to refer to a person is not ungrammatical. – Esoteric Screen Name Dec 05 '16 at 17:00
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    @EsotericScreenName question is not about grammar, but about politeness. If your audience assumes that human beings are necessarily either "he" or "she" then using "it" implies that the target is not human, and this is rude. – Daerdemandt Dec 05 '16 at 17:04
  • @Daerdemandt you missed my point entirely and have answered a strawman. This answer claims such usage is not only rude but also grammatically incorrect. It is not grammatically incorrect. – Esoteric Screen Name Dec 05 '16 at 17:07
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    @EsotericScreenName I repeat that question is not about grammar, but politeness. Answer can assume that people are not objects and derive any grammatical conclusions, it's still irrelevant to the question. Grammatically correct and rude are orthogonal things. Do you wish to continue arguing about former when the question prompts for latter? – Daerdemandt Dec 05 '16 at 17:35
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It is OK for babies.

If the baby's gender is unknown to you, you can call a baby 'it'. The parents will then kindly inform you on its gender "it's a boy (or a girl)".

Beside that, it is rude to use "it".

Nathan Tuggy
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Tom
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    A friend who works in a maternity hospital told me that "she" is used to refer to a mother and "he" refers to an unborn baby (as the gender may not be unknown). Apparently nobody needs to talk about the fathers, so they don't require a pronoun! – Stormcloud Dec 05 '16 at 16:53
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I have referred to people as 'it' in the past, but only when very annoyed with them. Usually it helps if there is a third person there, so you can turn to that person and say 'look at it', 'look at what it's doing'. But yeah, not a nice thing to do.

Tom Tom
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